There are days mainly in the summer, however there is one specific day in the winter too, when loud noises are bursting into our homes from outside like it is the World War Three. The windows are shaking, the sofa quakes underneath and the shit is scared out of even us, people. In the summer it is called storm, in the winter it is called New Years Eve. Those, who own dogs know for sure what is coming next. The dogs will instantly get that epic freaked out look, will snap their ears down, will pull their tails between their legs and regardles of size they start squashing themselves under the smallest cabinet in the bathroom. If you check the word miserable in a lexicon, you definitely will find a picture of a dog like the above to perfectly illustrate the meaning.
These times you laugh out loud and drop tears at the same time because of the grotesque sight of your German Shepherds sticking out body of the laundry holder as only his head could fit in under. You can call him, say his name, he won’t make any move, just shake and stare at you.
However that is only known by a few (even unknown by dog owners) what should be the proper reaction in a situation like this, if you want a healthy animal.
On an average that I would assume as a solid 90% of people will start to pet their dog, start to talk to their dog that everything is fine, everything is ok to try to comfort him/her.
This is a problem. By doing the above we strengthen the feeling of distress in the animal. The dog will think that there is a real issue, so he will learn it is the end of the world and will react the very same way each and every time when it starts to thunder.
Believe it or not even laughing at him is a better solution, because at least the dog will sense your cheerfulness, comfortness during the situation and will understand that there is a high probability that not the end of the world is coming.
There are 2 adequate solutions for this situation. If you know you are emotional and you know by seeing your own dog in this state would have a negative influence on your mood, just leave him alone. Leave the dog alone under the laundry holder. Dont seek out for him, dont speak to him do not even realize his existance. He will be fine by time. He will calm down. He is anxious and the last thing he wants is someone in a similar state to go check up on him in every 2 minutes.
If you are confident, you can call him out once determinedly, you can have him sit next to you and hug him. Dont pet, dont speak, just hug and do your usual things in the meantime. Watch tv, listen to music, surf on the internet, whatever you want. Dont mind the dog and dont mind the noises. If he sensed your calmness, he will be calm soon too.
So the above example is a perfect indicator on how much damage you can do even if you want to help but you are uninformed.
Because I am sure (unfortunately I am absolutely not sure) that only the helpfulness motivates those who buys their one way ticket to the 6 o’clock train that leaves from the first line to the terminal: „The Women Have Self Image Disorder Because of the Cover Girls and Magazines”.
Women and actually Men too can have Self Image disorder because of two things and both can be attached to their personality. First is genetics and it takes about 50% of the personality the other apporximately 50% is the upbringing and environment of theirs during young ages.
So someone who inherited genes that includes traits that can hold Self Image Disorder within, will immediately have 50% chance to reflect this disorder in their peronality by the time they were born. If this is the case, even a perfect loving, caring encouraging environment will not definitely make this person be a self confident adult.
And we all know that perfect loving, caring encouraging environment is a utopia.
I dont really see the same people hyping topics about Genetics as the responsible thing for Self Image Disorders. I dont see the same people hyping around topics that the parents are responsible for Self Image Disorders.
The want to look perfect is not coming from an idea by looking at a magazine cover at the age of twelve. The want to look perfect is coming from the expectation of the environment that brought a child up. (even this expectation can remain unsaid)
Even it is enough if someone was never told how beautiful she was.
Any marketing manager, any producer, any editor can put the most beautiful woman with the thinnest waist with the most wanted look to the cover of their magazine, if a child was grown in an environment, where the environment saw her and told her gorgeous. That girl will simply not give a f*ck how perfect that cover girl is as an adult, because she will be sure about her own perfectness. Rergardless of how tall she is, whats her weight, how she looks. She will be perfect as the way she is, just like the cover girl, who is perfect the way she is.
The Self Image Disorder of women is not a consequence of the magazine covers
In fact we hate the magazine covers because we have Self Image Disorder, that usually can be derived from childhood and from the fact that we are not objective at all.
We did not teach our children to interpret the world around them objectively. If we could teach them to do so, they could accept that the girl on the magazine cover is beautiful just as themselves.
Dear Magazine Cover Haters, what would be the solution then? You are perfect in scandals we know that. You are perfect in hating we know that too. What solution can you offer? What should the magazines do?
If you say magazines should put ordinary people to their covers, then practically you are discriminating ordinary people from the cover girls by saying hey ordinary people you are not beautiful so magazines should put you on the covers instead of the beautiful people. Or magazines should not put any girls to their covers? We can actually do that too. There are countries where women can only wear chador letting only their eyes and lips seen by strangers, and it perfectly works in those cultures. So what are you up to?
Lets assume that these people are just the same as the other 90% that are petting and talking to their dogs during storms and just want to help lead by uninformness.
There will always be introvert and extrovert personalities in the world. Non is better than the other. Each sides has their positive and negative characteristics. Introvert people can accept themselves hardly. Usually they underestimate their own abilities and talent. If this is an adopted characteristic of theirs then it can be changed by the help of a professional. If someone has it as a natural behavior then it is a different story.
These people can easily find Self Image Disorder within themselves, but it is coming from their personality, and not from any random person, who actually poses on a cover of a magazine.
There is no us and them. There is no: they are beautiful and we are ordinary. We all should accept that we are different. Because it does not f*cking matter if we are beautiful or not, since after a while everyone will find their perfect match. And for some incomprehensible reason that perfect match will see us the most beautiful one in the world.
Self Image Disorder is not caused by Magazines or their covers. If someone feels ashamed reading a magazine, that is a symptom of an issue that the given person carries from childhood. Until we blame the magazines for this issue, we distract the attention from the real problem that requires a solution.
Please share videos like the below in the understanding of the above. If you feel the same way how this video describes when you are reading a magazine, please contact me immediately, because we will need to do some housekeeping…
My name is Robert Dani Cser. I deliver self-awareness workshops. I develop self-awareness tools. I write self-awareness books.
I don't like to speak about myself, because I would never think that in my profession it is relevant who I am. In my profession, what matters is rather what I can give.
So, about me: I am not a Coach. I am not a psychologist either. I am a problemsolver, who is incidentally specialized in human problems.
I would be perfectly satisfied if the people could get to know themselves, their environment, and as a result they could finally accept or even like who they really are.
Though the attributes of a human are constant, those are relative based on the environment. Your weakness in one position can be your strenght in another.
Get to know WHAT, WHY, HOW, and with WHAT KNOWLEDGE you do and your life will gain a meaning.
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